Improve Your Wellbeing with Positive Psychology

With our fast-paced lives, there's a tendency to focus on chasing our goals while typically being more critical than kind to ourselves. More often than not, we struggle to establish clear boundaries between a work-life balance, and this may result in burnout or a decline in mental health and wellbeing. It also means we may miss out on fully appreciating the small moments of happiness and success in life. That is where positive psychology comes in!

Positive psychology is an evidence-based movement that is founded on the study of understanding how to achieve 'optimal human functioning' – the best possible state that facilitates the greatest opportunity to thrive. The aim of positive psychology is to enhance your individual personal potential and improve wellbeing by promoting the positive elements of life.

The benefits of positive psychology 

• It creates an optimistic outlook and attitude to life. 
• It improves self-esteem. 
• It helps develop resilience towards adversity. 
• It enhances relationships with others. 
• It supports you to find meaning and engagement in life. 
• It helps decrease symptoms of poor mental health (e.g. anxiety and depression)
• It increases life satisfaction. 

Positive psychology is for everyone!

There are no limiting factors or excluding criteria, however your individuality may influence how you incorporate this into your life. Ways of approaching life through the lens of positive psychology can be adapted and personalised to assist you in whatever your goal may be. Read our suggested strategies below.

Positive psychology strategies

1. Act on your signature strengths
There is evidence that supports the development of more positive character strengths as an effective way of improving quality of life and decreasing symptoms of depression. This is achieved through directing deliberate attention towards what you do best. It is beneficial to think about your signature strengths in-line with your psychological requirements. This approach can be structured around the PERMA-H model, as a way of using your strengths to promote:

• Positive emotion
• Engagement
• Relationships
• Meaning in life
• Achievements
• Health 

For example: for 'achievements', you may review and set your personal goals, ensuring these are realistic and compliment your capacity. This example is beneficial as effective goals can increase motivation and self-belief.

2. Keep a gratitude log
The experience of gratitude can be described as a feeling of wonder, admiration, and appreciation directed towards something or someone, for example, towards a person for their helpful action or an appreciation for the beauty of nature. Keeping track of things that you are thankful for, is an effective way of promoting positive emotions and highlighting meaning in your life.

3. Develop optimism
Optimism describes a positive attitude towards life. Identifying the good things in life can boost happiness and encourage a more positive outlook. You can do this by:

• Engaging in optimistic self-talk. Encourage regular chats with others and personal check-ins focused on the good parts of the present day. 
• Managing your expectations. Set realistic goals, designed around effort and capabilities rather than results. 
• Reflecting on your day. Keep a regular record (e.g. in a daily journal, or a daily ‘three good things’ log) of your achievements, people, or things you are grateful for and your strengths which have supported you to be your best self.
• Challenging your inner-critic. Take responsibility for yourself, recognise failures as lessons, and show kindness towards yourself. These are ways of adapting a pessimistic perspective into a more positive one. 

4. Self-care
Regular exercise, a balanced diet, and getting enough hours of sleep each night are ways to ensure your body is in the best state to enhance your opportunity to thrive. Try bringing 'Hygge' into your life, to increase happiness and improve your wellbeing. Hygge is a cultural phenomenon from Denmark which  promotes the practise of routinely prioritising being 'cosy', relaxing, and embracing the quieter pleasures in life. The impact of Hygge is reflected through reduced stress levels and improving quality of life and is understood to be a contributing factor to Denmark’s status of one of the happiest countries, according to the United Nations.



Practising positive psychology might feel challenging at first. That is okay! It may also take some time to learn which strategies are the best fit for enhancing your potential and improving your wellbeing. Don’t be put off by these factors. Research in the area of positive psychology shows that it can increase happiness, provide a sense of direction, and help identify opportunities for success.

Can you see where positive psychology might improve areas of your life?

More about positive psychology

For more about positive psychology and how it can be used to improve your life, download our latest free booklet, "Positive Psychology – Realise Your Potential" >

The Impact of Remorse on Mental Wellbeing

What is remorse?

Remorse is a complex and powerful emotion often experienced when we regret or feel guilt over past actions or decisions. The impact of remorse on mental wellbeing can be significant, affecting various aspects of our life including our emotional state, relationships, and overall quality of life.

A research journal published by the American Psychological Association suggests that “action-related regrets, although painful, spur people to learn from their mistakes and move on. But regret related to the inaction path – the things undone, the opportunities lost – is harder to fix. This kind of regret is more likely to lead to depression, anxiety, a sense of ‘stuckness’ and a feeling of longing over not knowing what could have been.”

The effects of remorse

Negative thoughts and emotions

One of the primary ways in which remorse impacts our mental wellbeing is through its effects on emotional health. Feelings of guilt and regret can lead to increased levels of stress, anxiety, and depression. When we experience remorse, we may constantly ruminate on past events, playing them over and over in our minds and experiencing negative emotions such as shame and self-blame. This ongoing cycle of negative thoughts and emotions can take a toll on our mental health, leading to feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness.

Damage to our relationships

Remorse can also affect our relationships with others, which in turn can have a significant impact on mental wellbeing. When we’re consumed by feelings of guilt and regret, we often start to withdraw from social interactions and isolate ourselves from loved ones. This can lead to feelings of loneliness and disconnection, further exacerbating our feelings of sadness and despair. Unresolved remorse can create barriers to building and maintaining healthy relationships, as we might struggle to trust others or open up about our feelings.

Reduces feelings of happiness

In addition to its emotional and social impacts, remorse can also affect our overall quality of life. The burden of carrying around unresolved regret can weigh heavily on us, impacting our ability to experience joy and fulfilment in daily life. Feelings of remorse can sap our energy and motivation, making it difficult to engage in activities that bring us happiness and satisfaction.

Ways to overcome remorse

• Work through negative feelings. It’s important when we’re experiencing remorse to address our feelings in order to promote mental wellbeing and emotional healing. One way to work through negative feelings is through self-reflection and introspection. By examining the root causes of our remorse and understanding why we feel the way we do, we can begin to process our emotions and work towards forgiveness and acceptance.
• Talk to trusted others. Seeking support from trusted friends, family members or mental health professionals can also be beneficial when we’re struggling with feelings of remorse. Talking about our feelings and experiences with a supportive listener can provide validation and perspective, helping us gain clarity and insight into our emotions. Therapy or counselling can also be helpful in exploring the underlying factors and developing coping strategies to address these emotions in a healthy and constructive manner.
• Practise self-care. Practising self-care activities such as meditation, exercise and mindfulness can also help us manage feelings of remorse and improve our mental wellbeing. Engaging in activities that promote relaxation and emotional healing can provide a sense of calm and balance, reducing the impact of negative emotions. Focusing on self-compassion and practising forgiveness towards ourselves can be powerful tools in promoting emotional healing.

The impact of remorse on mental wellbeing is profound and multi-faceted. It can affect emotional health, relationships, and overall quality of life, leading to increased levels of stress, anxiety, and depression.

A study on the power of remorse and apology, published in the Journal of College and Character, concluded that: “The cost of an apology is small, a loss of a bit of pride. The benefit, however, is great: it provides an individual, a leader, an organization, and even an entire country with the ability to purify and renew itself. Showing remorse for misdeeds is not a sign of cowardice or weakness. On the contrary, sincere remorse is a sign of courage and moral strength.”

It's clear that addressing our feelings in a healthy and constructive manner, through self-reflection, seeking support, and practising self-care activities has the potential to improve the lives of ourselves and others.

Creative Journaling and Unlocking Emotional Expression

Creative journaling is a powerful tool that can have a positive impact on our overall wellbeing. By combining the benefits of journaling with creative expression, we can explore and understand our emotions, thoughts and experiences in a more profound and meaningful way. This creative practice not only enhances our self-awareness but also helps us to tap into our emotions and express them in healthier and constructive ways.

Benefits of creative journaling

1. One of the key benefits of creative journaling is that it allows us to engage in self-reflection and introspection. By writing about our thoughts, feelings and experiences, we can gain insights into our subconscious world, understand our emotions better and identify patterns and triggers that may be influencing our mental and emotional wellbeing. This process of self-reflection can lead to greater self-awareness, self-acceptance and personal growth.


2. Creative journaling also provides a safe space where we can express and process our emotions. When we live such busy lives and endure stressful situations daily, it can be challenging to find healthy outlets for our feelings. Creative journaling offers a therapeutic and cathartic way to release any pent-up emotions, stress and anxiety. By putting our deepest thoughts and feelings onto paper through writing, drawing or other creative mediums, we can effectively process our emotions, reduce emotional distress and improve our overall mental health. A study published by the National Library of Medicine, it found that: “journaling provided users with an effective way of meeting their emotional needs and engaging in positive and therapeutic thinking”.


3. By releasing our emotions onto paper, we also form a sense of mindfulness and presence. Engaging in creative activities such as drawing or painting while journaling can bring us into the present moment, allowing us to focus on the task at hand and connect with our inner selves. This mindfulness practice can reduce stress, increase relaxation and enhance emotional regulation, leading to a greater sense of balance and harmony.


4. Another important aspect of creative journaling is its ability to foster creativity and inspiration. By engaging in creative expression through journaling, we can tap into our imagination, explore new ideas and unleash our artistic potential. This creative process can stimulate the mind, spark inspiration and enhance problem-solving skills, leading to greater innovation and personal growth.


5. In addition to promoting self-expression and creativity, creative journaling can help us to improve our communication skills. By practising expressing our thoughts and emotions in a creative and structured way, we can learn to communicate more effectively with others. This improved communication can lead to more meaningful connections, deeper relationships and greater emotional intimacy with friends, family and loved ones.


6. By releasing our thoughts and feelings on a regular basis, we strengthen our ability to manage and cope with difficult emotions and experiences. When we face challenging situations or overwhelming emotions, creative journaling can provide a safe and constructive outlet for processing and expressing these feelings. By channelling our emotions into creative expression, we can gain clarity, perspective and resilience in the face of adversity.


Creative journaling is a powerful practice that can greatly enhance our emotional expression, self-awareness, creativity and overall wellbeing. By combining the benefits of journaling with creative expression, we can explore our inner thoughts, learn how to process our emotions and cope better with difficult experiences.

The Importance of Releasing Secrets

Secrets have a unique way of weighing us down, both emotionally and mentally. Keeping secrets can contribute to feelings of guilt, shame, anxiety and isolation, which can adversely impact our psychological health. Therefore, by unpacking the significance of sharing secrets, we can pave the way for increased self-acceptance, connection with others and ultimately achieve a healthier state of mind.

The burden of secrets

Keeping secrets can have a profound impact on our mental health. The weight carried within can lead to increased stress, self-doubt and a constant state of anxiety. Research has shown that harbouring secrets can lead to a range of negative emotions, including guilt, shame and fear. These emotions often intensify over time, imposing a significant toll on our overall wellbeing.

Self-acceptance

Releasing secrets can be empowering and liberating. Sharing our deepest and most private thoughts and experiences with a trusted confidant can lead to increased self-acceptance and self-compassion. By acknowledging our secrets and accepting ourselves as flawed yet worthy of love and understanding, we can alleviate the emotional burden and cultivate a healthier mindset.

Connection and support

Sharing secrets can improve connection and trust within relationships. When we open up to someone about our secrets, it creates an environment of vulnerability, thus allowing others to reciprocate and share their own experiences. This mutual sharing can strengthen relationships and create a sense of belonging and understanding. The support and empathy received from others can help alleviate the negative emotions associated with keeping secrets.

 

Mental health benefits

Releasing secrets not only eases emotional distress but also positively impacts our mental wellbeing. Secrets can create a constant internal battle, consuming valuable mental energy and leading to increased stress levels. By sharing our secrets, we release this mental load, allowing our minds to focus on self-care, personal growth and overall happiness. Dr Allen Towfigh, neurologist at New York Presbyterian Hospital, believes that by harbouring secrets “You may also have difficulty with memory and learning. And the excess release of cortisol will cause a host of other ailments, including possible increase or loss of appetite and disruption of metabolism.”

 

The importance of seeking professional help

While confiding in a trusted friend or family member can provide immense relief, there may be instances where professional intervention is necessary. Mental health professionals, such as therapists or counsellors, offer a safe and non-judgmental environment where we can explore our secrets in a guided and supportive manner. They possess the expertise to help navigate complex emotions, provide coping mechanisms and offer personalised guidance tailored to our individual needs.

The power lies within us to transform our lives by unlocking the potential held captive by secrets. By taking that first step in releasing our hidden secrets, we can become more liberated and feel vulnerable with ease.

Navigating Tough Conversations

Tough conversations are part of daily life. They may include conflict with loved ones to debates with colleagues. While these conversations may be challenging, they offer an opportunity for growth and deeper understanding. However, navigating tough conversations can be emotionally draining and can negatively impact our mental wellbeing. The good news is that there are a number of strategies you can use to help approach difficult conversations with empathy and openness while remaining kind to yourself. 

Use empathy as a foundation

Empathy is crucial when engaging in tough conversations. It allows us to understand and relate to the emotions and perspectives of others. Before entering into any difficult discussion, it’s essential to think about how things may be from the other person's perspective. This helps us gain insight into their thoughts and feelings, allowing for a more constructive and compassionate conversation.

A study released by Ohio State University says: “Focusing on blame is ineffective because it inhibits our ability to learn what really caused the problem and to do anything of significance to correct it. Blame is about making judgments while effective conflict management is about learning from mistakes, understanding different perceptions of the same reality, and adjusting one’s behavior for better results in the future.”

Use active listening skills and validate emotions

Active listening allows us to give our full attention to the person we’re speaking with and by doing this we can understand their point of view better and validate their emotions. Validation doesn't mean we have to agree with their perspective, it simply acknowledges their feelings, creating a safe space for open and honest dialogue. Really listening and validating the other person's emotions gives a sense of respect and understanding, which supports both parties' feelings and mental wellbeing.

Stay calm and non-defensive

Difficult conversations can evoke strong emotions, often leading to defensiveness and reactive behaviours. To nurture positive wellbeing, we need to remain calm and composed. Taking deep breaths, grounding ourselves in the present moment and reminding ourselves that we have control over our reactions can help us respond in a less defensive way. It's important to avoid making personal attacks and instead focus on the issue at hand. This creates a more conducive environment for productive dialogue.

Be assertive and set boundaries

Being assertive involves expressing our thoughts and feelings respectfully, without undermining the other person's perspective. Assertiveness also includes setting boundaries and communicating them clearly. This is important because it helps protect ourselves from unnecessary stress and create a space where constructive conversation can take place.

Find common ground and seek understanding

Seeking common ground is vital to finding resolution and maintain mental wellbeing. Instead of focusing on differences, actively look for areas of agreement. This helps create a sense of unity and allows both parties to work towards a solution. Ask open-ended questions to really understand the other person's view. This can also help create empathy and open the conversation to new perspectives.

Take breaks and practise self-care

Difficult conversations can be emotionally draining and overwhelming and it's therefore important to recognise when we need to take breaks. Making some space allows us to process emotions and prevent burnout. Do something you enjoy during these breaks. Reading, exercise, or spending time with loved ones can be good ways to restore mental wellbeing. 

Reflect on and learn from tough conversations

Take some time after difficult conversations to allow yourself to process what was said. This can help you gain an insight into our own emotions, reactions and areas for growth. It also helps us learn from difficult experiences and improve communication skills for future conversations. Embracing personal growth helps us enhance our mental wellbeing and develop more effective strategies for navigating tough conversations.


Although navigating tough conversations can be emotionally taxing, approaching these conversations with empathy, active listening and non-defensive responses, can foster understanding, bridge gaps and promote mental wellness.

Looking After Your Wellbeing During Exams

Exams can come with a lot of pressure which can make us feel extremely stressed. Stress is your body’s natural response to pressure and can help you focus and feel motivated to get things done but it can also feel hard to manage at times. Remember to look after your health and wellbeing during exam time and don’t forget that you're not alone. Everything you’re feeling is completely normal and plenty of others are going through the exact same thing. 

Various studies of exam stress have shown that exam periods and exam situations are stressful for students. The results from the Natwest Student Living Index 2019 stated that 45% of students admitted they are feeling stressed by their course. Another poll from the same year that included 37,500 students at 140 universities across England, Wales, and Scotland suggests that rates of psychological distress and illness are on the rise in universities, with “alarmingly high” levels of anxiety, loneliness, substance misuse and thoughts of self-harm.

The exam period is only a small proportion of the academic year. While it is important to study and do the best you can, it is also equally as important that you don’t push too hard. Burning yourself out won’t help with your exam performance and grades and can have a detrimental effect on your health as it is linked to anxiety, depression and a compromised immune system. Burnouts can also cause people to feel drained, fatigued, and unable to cope. In extreme cases, over long periods of time a burnout can increase the risk of heart attacks, type 2 diabetes as well as increasing cholesterol levels. Therefore, it is important to remember that you need to look after yourself mentally and physically.

Looking after yourself during exams

Here are some tips and tricks on how to look after your wellbeing during the exam period.

Make time for things you enjoy. If you're associated with any clubs or societies, then it's important that you still attend these. Visiting friends and family during this time is also really beneficial. Both family and friends provide us with support and comfort. They have a positive impact on our self-esteem and wellbeing and can help us cope with stress better. Additionally, it is vital to remember that exams do not define your life. There needs to be a balance between working hard and enjoying yourself.

Talk to others about your feelings. It's important to talk to others about how you feel, especially during times when stress levels are high. Speaking up about what you're feeling, whether good or bad, can help put your feelings into words, reducing stress levels and helping you feel close to people who care about you, whether that is friends, family, classmates, or strangers is completely up to you.

Study with others. Having study groups with peers can help students to learn course material in a deeper, more concrete way while having a positive social aspect to it. Tutoring is also a positive reinforcement of class material and improves confidence when exam time comes around.

Engage in regular exercise. Engaging in regular exercise increases your overall health and wellbeing, however, it also has been proven to affect how you manage your stress levels. Regular exercise reduces the amount of cortisol (the stress hormone) in your body and stimulates the production of endorphins, chemicals in the brain that are the body’s natural painkillers and mood elevators. Additionally, participating in exercise means you are more likely to enjoy a good night’s sleep, which is crucial during exam time. It is recommended to have at least eight hours' sleep per night as it can affect academic performance. Having enough sleep can improve memory recall and concentration, which is essential during the exam period.

Stick to a routine. Sticking to a routine during exam time and taking regular breaks while studying can enhance motivation levels by providing a structure to work within and making you feel in control. Routines can allow you to meet your goals and deadlines while building discipline and resilience. They can also allow time for regular planned breaks, which can increase productivity and focus while also allowing space for enjoyment and fun. 

Do it your way. Remember, everyone has their own way of studying, so find what works best for you.

How to prepare before your exam

• Prepare all your stationery and essentials for the exam the night before. 
• Briefly review notes and study materials to refresh memory.
• Drink plenty of water.
• Make sure to eat a healthy breakfast.
• If nerves a starting to get to you, practise some breathing exercises. 
• Take your time and don’t rush. Rushing leads to mistakes. 

Looking after yourself after your exam/s

• Once your exam(s) have finished, try to resist the urge  to compare your answers with others as this can act as a catalyst for anxiety. By doing this, you won’t know whose answer was correct. It is best to leave it until your results come back. 
• Another important tip is to leave all your stress in the exam hall and focus on your next steps. 
• Lastly, reward yourself with a treat. This might be a chat with a friend, an item of clothing, a long walk in the countryside, a new book, your favourite takeaway or something else. Choose what works for you. You deserve it!

Further information

• For more on dealing with exam stress, watch the recording of our webinar 'Supporting Young People During Exam Season' here >
• If you're struggling to study, download our free workbook 'Understanding and Beating Procrastination' >

References

• Levels of distress and illness among students in UK 'alarmingly high' | Universities | The Guardian
• Nearly Half of Students are Stressed at UK Universities | Top Universities
• https://blogs.york.ac.uk/student-voices/2021/12/20/10-tips-to-look-after-your-wellbeing-during-exam-season/
• https://www.youngminds.org.uk/young-person/blog/how-to-look-after-your-mental-health-during-revision-and-exams/
• https://www.qmul.ac.uk/maths/news-and-events/news-/items/how-to-look-after-your-mental-health-during-the-exam-period.html

How to Build a Community as an Overseas Student

It can be very stressful for students moving abroad for university as for many it means leaving their family and friends behind and being confronted with a largely new and unknown setting. 

Adjusting to the new environment and potential cultural differences can make it difficult for students to build social networks and, as a result, many international students may experience periods of loneliness during their time overseas. With everything so new, foreign, and sometimes scary, making friends and settling in abroad can be challenging.

"International students have several risk factors for loneliness, including being away from loved ones, novelty (finding yourself in a new situation), not having a network in the new place yet, and feeling different (not fitting in) because of not understanding social codes and norms."

Luzia Heu, Assistant Professor of Interdisciplinary Social Sciences, who conducts research on loneliness across different cultures. 

Ways to combat loneliness

Join clubs and societies: As a new student, take advantage of the first few weeks at university when everyone is trying to make friends. Take yourself along to the fresher’s events to mix with other students and join as many clubs and societies as you can. There are numerous clubs that will be suited to everyone at university, and it is one of the easiest ways to get to know your peers and make new friends. Some universities also have social media sites and online communities that you can reach out to people through.

Joining clubs and societies allows you to be around lots of new people in a non-classroom setting where socialising is common. It is also highly possible that the other students are there for the same reason you are – to make friends. Best of all, you would already have something in common with the people in your group allowing you to get to know them by bonding over shared interests. An important reminder is that you should not feel pressured to attend your club(s) every week, especially as the semester progresses and workload increases.

Join cultural communities: Joining cultural communities can also be fun as you will meet a range of new people, learn about diverse cultures, and share different perspectives. It also gives you an opportunity to meet people from the same culture as you and could even help with feelings of homesickness. 

There are other benefits to joining clubs that don’t revolve around only meeting friends, for example, if you enjoy films and the cinema, joining a group that watches and discusses films each week is a great way to meet people and improve one’s language skills. As well as this, you could still benefit by finding a new passion or interest you didn’t know you had.

Participate in class tutorials: Class tutorials are another good way to start conversations and work on different projects. They are an opportunity to share your thoughts and to have conversations around different issues. In addition, tutorials can highlight who agrees and disagrees with the points you’re making and by doing this it can form bonds if you notice someone shares the same views as you. It also gives you an opportunity to get your classmates numbers or social media to chat about the class material alongside other things. Inviting people in your class to meet up to study together or work on projects can be a good way of making friends while also focusing on class work. 

Consider shared accommodation: Applying to live in shared accommodation at university is a great way to make new friends as you can socialise with the people you live with. Living with strangers can be daunting but by putting yourself out there and engaging with others either by sparking up conversations in your common areas, or keeping your door open allowing others to come up to you, will help you to make a friend along the way.

Share meals: If you live in shared accommodation, consider suggesting a dinner party or having dinner together. People naturally congregate over food and experiencing new meals acts as a good conversation topic. It is also a good idea to even just have chilled nights with your new flat mates such as playing games and ordering a takeaway.

Mix with others in your student accommodation: It is very common for university dorms to have parties which gives you more opportunities to interact and socialise with new people. The biggest tip when staying in university accommodation is to not be confined to your room all the time where interaction with others will be minimal. Try not to rely solely on people coming up to you, so make sure you’re proactive about making friends. Some ideas include walking up to people in classes, hallways or even the dorms where you are staying. There are opportunities everywhere to make small talk. The chances are that you won’t be the only one who has moved away from home and are trying to make friends, there will be plenty others in a new country the same as you. While not all students will have travelled thousands of miles for their studies, most will have left home for the first time and will be keen to see a friendly face.

Find a part-time job: Finding a part time job can also be beneficial in trying to make friends. Working with colleagues provides the space to start up conversations, which can be helpful for making friends. Having a job can also lead to staff members catching a drink together after a hard shift or even doing activities together on their days off.


Hopefully making a handful of friends is all you need to do for your network to start expanding naturally as you begin to meet their friends who could end up becoming your friends.

The first few weeks or even months in a new country can be very overwhelming and making friends won’t happen overnight, but it also won’t happen if you don’t put yourself out there and make it a priority. Just remember to be kind and always be yourself and everything should work out. One last tip is to make the most of your experience by saying yes to every invitation you are offered, and before you know it, you will be surrounded by people. 

References

• https://activestudy.com.au/2023/03/22/how-to-make-friends-as-an-international-student/#:~:text=By%20attending%20events%2C%20joining%20clubs%2C%20volunteering%2C%20participating%20in,make%20the%20most%20of%20your%20study%20abroad%20experience.
• https://www.timeshighereducation.com/student/blogs/making-friends-international-student
• https://www.conquerabroad.com/resources/preparation/make-friends-abroad
• https://www.studyinternational.com/news/making-friends-university/

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