Wednesday, 22 February 2017

Reflection and contemplation in everyday life

There’s a saying that: if you do what you always do, you’ll get what you’ve always got. So today, we thought we'd encourage you to reflect on your lives; to take stock on where you are right now and the changes you would need to make to get somewhere else.

Self-reflection is as it suggests: taking a look at yourself, your actions and behaviour and being honest about what you see. ‘Reflection’ is the practice of thinking about things and assessing where improvements could be made. We’ve defined three key areas where self-reflection should be focussed.

Strengths


What are you good at? Where do you excel? Which tasks do you complete easily and without hesitation? You may find you have to look at your perceived weaknesses in order to establish where your strengths really lie.

Skills


What specific skills do you have? How do these compare with the tasks you are often asked to perform? Self-reflection is about recognising what we can do readily and the areas where we need to improve.

Successes


Our successes are a great way of establishing the areas in which we shine. Self-reflection and self-improvement are as much about what we have achieved already as they are about how we can improve. It's only by examining the two areas hand in hand, that we will get a true reflection of who we are.


The main benefit of self-reflection is that it helps us to notice – and put an end to – negative patterns and behaviours that are holding us back in life. The hardest part is identifying these patterns. Once we have done this all we need is perspective to put solutions in place.

Self-refection requires us to have an idea of where we want to go in life and what we want to achieve – without this, we are unable to consider alternative solutions to our actions. Without an overall goal in mind, our daily tasks do not hold the same purpose and the need for self-reflection diminishes.

We must remind ourselves of where we are going, in order to get there. Having a destination helps us keep a positive mindset and helps prevent us focusing on matters that lie outside our control. It is only by looking at what we have done before, that we can really establish what we need to do differently in order to succeed in future.

Wednesday, 8 February 2017

Relationships are for life, not just for Valentine’s Day

Next week it’s Valentine’s Day. The day when we shower our loved ones with cards and gifts to show them just how much they mean to us.

It’s really important to tell other people that we love and appreciate them and, in today’s busy world, sometimes we need a nudge!

However, romance is for all year round – not just for Valentine’s Day – so here are our top four fabulous ways to keep the romance alive every day.

Show your appreciation


It’s the little things that matter – rather than the grand gestures – when you have been together for some time. Very often couples fall into the trap of taking each other for granted and forget what their lives were like before they met. Sometimes taking the time to remind your partner that you're glad they're there is all your relationship needs to keep the romantic feelings alive. An unexpected text message or a note in a workbag or under your partner’s pillow are little ways to show that you're thinking about them – and that makes people feel good. The main reason people leave their job is because they feel undervalued and unappreciated. The same is true in relationships, so remember a little bit of effort goes a long way.

Surprise each other


Marilyn Monroe sang 'diamonds are a girl’s best friend' and while it is nice to be showered with expensive gifts, just as much joy can be gained from little surprises. In a long term relationship or marriage, this could be as small and insignificant as emptying the dishwasher or putting the washing away when it’s not 'your turn’. It is surprising how quickly we fall into roles when in a long term relationship with jobs beings seen as ‘mine’ or ‘yours’ – doing one of ‘their’ jobs is not only a lovely surprise for your partner, but also a way of demonstrating that you acknowledge and appreciate the role that they play in the relationship. Don’t get us wrong though, surprise weekends away without the kids are likely to incite favourable reactions too!

Book time in your diary to be together


Have you noticed how important scheduling is in today’s busy society? We don’t often have the time to simply ‘be’ and without our diary and to-do list we are scared that something important will fall through the cracks. Think about it though – how much ‘relationship time’ do you schedule into your diary? The answer is likely none, and as a result, your relationship will be the first thing to suffer when time pressures get the better of you. Carving time out in your diary to be together legitimises it, makes it valuable, and this makes you less likely to reschedule. Just an hour on a Wednesday for a coffee and a natter, for example, or a Friday evening once a month to do an activity together is all the time you need to nurture your relationship. Who knows, maybe these ‘together times’ will become the highlight of your busy week, however contrived and unspontaneous they may feel at first.

Make the everyday things special


After a while all relationships calm down into a humdrum and monotonous routine of daily life. What we need to do is put in the effort to make the everyday more appealing. Instead of Thursday night dinner in front of the tv – make Thursday your dinner date night, where you need to dress to impress and sit at the table as you would if you were out or rather than vegging out to watch a film while catching up on your email – make it a movie night, with popcorn, fizzy pop, dimmed lights, the works. Invest in your time together and your relationship will thank you for it.


Relationships are precious, yet they often bear the brunt of our busy schedules and complicated lives. So make a deal with yourself – and your partner – that this year Valentine’s Day will mark the start of a year of romance…