Friday, 17 November 2017

The benefits of team sport for men’s wellbeing

There’s a reason why men often hang up their football or rugby boots when they approach middle age – the toll of competitive sports on the body can be significant and often men feel the need to step aside in favour of their younger, more agile counterparts.

However, men the length and breadth of the UK – and further afield – are realising they needn’t be so hasty in giving up team sports altogether – it’s more a case of taking down the intensity a notch or two! Peter Reddy, a researcher and reader in psychology at Aston University has been studying the benefits of walking football on players aged 50 and over.

It seems that the latest sports craze – walking football –  is having a beneficial impact not just on men’s physical health, but their mental well-being too. Men who have played football all their lives reported higher levels of flow (a feeling of satisfaction) and lower levels of stress when playing.

There are a number of reasons why retrieving your footy boots is definitely a good idea – even if your pace and core strength isn’t what it once was. The benefits of team sports extend far beyond the exercise you’re getting. They include:

  • Building confidence. When playing a team sport, we are able to gain a greater self-awareness, and appreciate what it takes to work well within a group. Being part of an effective team helps develop our self-confidence and this translates into our working and personal lives too.
  • Developing relationships. The friendships we build within our teams – with our team mates and coaching staff - helps us create stronger relationships outside too. We learn how to give and take instruction, how to collaborate and how to work together towards a common goal. Team sports are a great way of expanding our social circle and nurturing positive friendships that extend beyond our chosen team sport. 
  • Better transferable skills. When we play sport, what we’re actually doing – as well as exercising – is following a precise set of rules and fulfilling a specific role. Through team sports, we learn the importance of time management and discipline, as well as appreciating what we have to do to win for the team - these skills can only help us in other areas of our lives too. 
  • Putting winning into perspective. Sometimes as adults we focus too much on achievement. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be the best we can be, but team sports help us be less selfish and enable us to focus on shared successes and failures. Losing as a team can still pack a punch, but somehow dealing with disappointment is less painful when shared with others. Team sports help us to enjoy winning and endure losing better than we could do alone.

In summary, team sports – whatever our age – can help us not only maintain our physical well-being but also develop more mental resilience, which can only be good news. So, if you feel like you’re living life on a treadmill or are doing the minimum needed to keep going, maybe it’s time to dig out your kit and get back to a team sport?



Wednesday, 1 November 2017

Men and money – why not earning can take an extra toll on men

Losing your job or taking time out of a career to return to studies / undertake parental duties has massive financial implications for us all. However for men – who are still often perceived as the main breadwinner and provider – the stress can be considerable and really take its toll on an individual’s mental health.

A study in 2016 found that men are twice as likely to feel responsible for the finances in their family or relationship as women. Nearly a third of all men, feel the financial burden in a relationship and believe they are responsible for financial matters, compared to just 14% of women.

This could be for a number of reasons, not least the gender stereotypes we are all exposed to from childhood, or the fact that many of the highest earning jobs are traditionally regarded as being male roles. Either way, when a man is no longer able to bring money into his household for whatever reason, it can impact on his mental wellbeing to a greater extent than for his female counterparts. 

There are lots of practicalities that need to be addressed when you’re not earning, such as going back to basics. Most of us spend what we earn. We earn more, our standard of living increases. Conversely, when our earnings dip, a quick and simple review of our outgoings often shows us that we don’t actually need to maintain our former standard of living and that we can in fact, live well for less. This realisation in itself can help to relieve the financial burden of not earning.

As can reflecting on why you’re finding it so hard to accept yourself as a non-earner. It can be helpful to explore why not earning plays so heavily on your psyche. Often, even if their partner is earning, some men still feel bereft when unable to provide for their family. This points to other issues, not merely a financial difficulty. Working with a counsellor can help you scratch beneath the surface and uncover the true reasons behind your need to be the breadwinner.

This Huffington Post article contains more practical advice about reviewing your finances, it also highlights the importance of spousal support and encouraging men to explore new hobbies and interests when out of work.

Finding something productive to do when you’re out of work serves three purposes. Firstly, it keeps your mind active and provides a constructive distraction from the job hunting/studying or care giving. Secondly, it helps you to learn new skills – or keep the skills that you already have sharp. Finally – and perhaps most importantly – it enables you to add a value to the contribution you make to society that does not relate to money. Often we judge our own success by the amount of money we earn when we are really much more than that. Often it takes a period of non-earning to help us re-evaluate our own sense of self-worth.



Wednesday, 18 October 2017

Are your daily habits and behaviours holding you back?

Not all of us can change the world, however, as human beings most of us want to achieve our full potential. This doesn’t always happen though and the reason for this often lies at our own door. As creatures of habit, it’s very easy to get locked in a pattern of behaviour that will stop us from doing what we are truly capable of.

The good news is that - with a bit off effort – we can change our destructive habits and replace them with a set of behaviours that set us up for success.

Remove distractions


To switch on your mind and creativity, you first need to switch off the many distractions that eat away at your time. Being connected to the world 24/7 has its advantages, but it also takes you away from focusing on what you need to develop yourself. Nothing ever got done well in front of the telly; nobody ever achieved anything of note watching their tablet. Appreciate the need to have some ‘switch off time’ every day and let your mind rest.

Get active


With many of us holding more sedentary jobs than we used to, it’s easy to see how exercise takes a back seat. However keeping active is key to keeping your mind and body in tip top condition. Without daily exercise you can quickly end up in a slump and it’s harder to motivate yourself. Just twenty minutes of activity a day is enough to keep minds clear and bodies healthy - and that’s what is needed to achieve your full potential.

Time out


Tell us, how much time each day do you put aside for yourself? It’s hard to pinpoint, isn’t it?

Do yourself a favour - set an alarm clock or timer for one minute every day. All you are to do for the entire time is focus on your breathing - nothing else. If your mind starts to wander, bring yourself back to your breathing, then simply stop when the timer tells you the minute is up. It’s a simple process but just taking a mindful minute every day is enough to focus your mind and step away from the clutter and chaos that can often hinder your productivity.

Complain less


There are times when venting your spleen can lighten you and make you feel better, however often we can all fall into the trap of complaining about that which we cannot change – and that can stop you from moving forward. Make yourself a promise not to complain about things that you personally cannot change – it’s a waste of energy. When you catch yourself complaining, stop, and then see how quickly not-complaining affects your overall mood and happiness.


Remember, we’re only here once and it’s up to us to make the most of the time we have - the power to achieve great things is in your hands.

Wednesday, 4 October 2017

Stoptober – tips to kicking the habit

We’re in October now – have you joined thousands of others to declare this as the month you'll give up smoking?

Stoptober is an NHS initiative designed to support people wanting to kick their smoking addiction. Their figures claim that if you can give up smoking for 28 days you’re five times more likely to stop for good.

In many ways, the growth in popularity of e-cigarettes is proof that you’re not alone in your desire to give up – they also provide an excellent tool to help you cut your nicotine intake. However, giving up the smoking habit for good is about more than swapping your cigarettes for another addiction. It’s about retraining your brain and body so that you no longer desire cigarettes in any form – or at least can refrain from smoking one, however much you crave it!

Dealing with any addictive behaviour is not easy – it’s a daily battle – so we’ve developed a few simple psychological tips to help you get through Stoptober – and beyond…

Identify your motivation

We all have a reason to want to give up something we enjoy - whether this be for health reasons; to lose weight / save money; or even just because friends and family have asked us to. We suggest writing out what is motivating you to do this and posting it somewhere you can see it easily. Then whenever you feel your cravings come to the fore, you can be reminded of the reason you’re quitting.

Go public

If you’re serious about quitting, tell as many people as you can. The more people who know, the more people available to help you through the difficult times, but more than this, you’ll also find that the more people who know about your efforts, the harder it will be to fall off the wagon and go back to your addiction because you’ll feel like you’ve let everyone down – not just yourself.

Keep busy

Very often the desire to light up stems from one of two reasons: habit and boredom. In order to keep on track, it’s really important to keep yourself busy – introduce a distraction that you can call upon whenever you feel the need to light up. This is often easier to do at work than it is at home, so take advantage. Make a cup of tea, do a few sit ups, run up and down stairs a couple of times, play a couple of rounds of a game on your phone – anything to take your mind off cigarettes, until the craving lessens. Many people find chewing gum, or sucking on a sweet, helps to keep their mouth occupied and reduces the need to smoke – it's worth a try - you've nothing to lose.

Visualise the best result

Visualisation is a tried and tested practice for helping to rewire thought processes. Brain studies reveal that thoughts produce the same mental instructions as actions. In other words, when we think about positive outcomes, we are more likely to conquer our fears. Picture yourself in your mind as a non-smoker. How will you feel? Healthier, happier, richer? You need to picture your success, in order to be successful.

Turn it into a challenge

Why not have yourself a sponsored Stoptober and asks friends and family to sponsor you to succeed? You could even pledge the money you save from your first month of quitting to a charity or cause that’s close to your heart, then you can see just how much money your smoking habit was costing you. And again, by involving others in your journey, it’s much harder to fail.


All that remains for us to say is: good luck – you can do it!

More information and resources to help you through Stoptober >




Friday, 22 September 2017

Eat yourself happy

With the autumn now upon us, so too comes the temptation to switch from salads to carbs, and from fruits to fatty comfort foods. But did you know that what you put in your mouth not only impacts on your body, but on your mind too? We can literally eat ourselves happier!

We need food to fuel our bodies, but more often than not food is much more than that. It acts as a reflection of our mood. Feeling stressed or down? We might crave carbohydrates. Feeling happy or in need of celebration? There’s cake and chocolate for that! But have you noticed that the food items we choose when rewarding ourselves, are not actually what we need to boost our bodies?

Much like any other stimulant, the food items we choose when emotional, only provide a fleeting feeling of wellbeing. Chocolate or carbs – though fine for the body in moderation – are actually just a short term rush. They may make us feel good at the time, but this is often followed by a slump – and sometimes accompanying feelings of guilt or frustration too.

The reason we choose these sugar, fatty foods is no secret. These foods contain opioids – the same active ingredients that you’ll find in cocaine, heroin and many other narcotics! Is it any wonder that these emotional eating habits are so hard to break? We’re addicted to the feel-good high and put off by the feelings we experience when we try to stop.

But rather than seeking the quick fix route to make us fleetingly happy, we should actually be focussing on what we need to include in our daily diet to maximise our feelings of contentment and wellbeing. Indeed, it is a consistent, balanced diet that makes us happier because it makes us healthier and healthy body = healthy mind.

There are certain food types that we absolutely need within our diet. To ease the irritability and dissatisfaction that comes with constipation, we need fibrous foods. To ease depression, foods that are rich in Vitamin B12 – such as green vegetables – are a must.

Our five golden rules for choosing food that will heighten your happiness are:

  1. Eat regularly – this helps us avoid peaks and troughs in blood sugar, which can significantly impact on our outlook and mood. 
  2. Eat more carbohydrates – carbohydrates help your body produce serotonin which makes you feel ‘happy and healthy’. But make sure they are 'complex' carbohydrates from wholemeal foods rather than carbohydrates from refined foods, which will result in peaks and troughs in blood sugar (see point 1).
  3. Eat plenty of fish – this makes sure your levels of omega oils are topped up. A deficiency in these oils has been linked to low mood. 
  4. Eat plenty of iron – this makes sure our energy levels are up, which makes us feel positive. A lack of iron leads to fatigue and a preoccupied mind, that’s unable to focus properly. 
  5. Eat less fat – it quite literally weighs us down and leaves us feeling sluggish. 

According to mental health charity Mind, improvements in diet can lead to greater positivity, more energy, clearer thinking and calmer moods. They outline eight tips on how to improve your mood through food – including drinking more water and making healthy choices

Their suggestion to keep a food diary is a really useful tool for tracking particular food items and assessing the impact they have on your body – and your happiness levels.

They also advocate the practice of planning ahead and preparing foods in advance to freeze. This helps us make healthy food choices – it's easier to eat emotionally when you’re short on time and feeling under stress.

For more information about food and mood, you can access their information poster, here: https://www.mind.org.uk/media/2106853/foodandmood_web.pdf

Remember, there is no one rule fits all when it comes to ‘happy’ eating. We’re all different and as such, we will each react differently when we consume certain food and beverages. Get to know your own body, so you can make the right choices, for you and your happiness.

Wednesday, 6 September 2017

Can reading make you happier?

It’s National Read a Book day today. And as difficult as it may seem to find the time to read during the course of a busy day, a recent large-scale study shows that reading really is good for us – increasing self-esteem and reducing stress.

So, apart from the obvious educational benefits, what is it about reading that makes it so beneficial and how can we carve time out of our busy schedules to pick up a book or two?

An aid to anxiety


No matter how stressed out you feel, the act of reading will help you relax, regulate your breathing and reduce any tension in your muscles. And they’re just the physical benefits. Mentally, reading helps to focus our thinking, reduce the 'noise' and promote mindfulness. You have to be ‘present’ to read and often the very fact that you’ve removed yourself away from the source of your stress or anxiety through doing something else is enough to calm you down.

A way to expand your empathy for others


Reading fiction is a great way of escaping the everyday routine. It transports us to different situations and scenarios that we would not normally experience otherwise and in doing so, it helps us to appreciate things from a different viewpoint. Well-written fiction is designed to challenge our preconceived ideas, test our ideologies and encourage us to empathise with the situations and life-choices of others.

To pick you up when you are feeling down


Depending on the type of books you choose to read, books have the ability to make you feel happy. They help you put our own issues into perspective and, by reading about people in similar situations and facing the same challenges, they can help you feel less alone. Reading about people who have come out the other side can provide hope and make your own problems seem easier to manage. Books make us braver and help us believe that anything is possible.

To send you to sleep


Reading before bed can act as a signal to the brain that it’s time to wind down and go to sleep. Rather than busying your brain, reading actually helps to distract your train of thought. Reading helps to move your focus away from whatever has been happening during the day and onto the fictional story you’re reading. The faster you can switch off your mind, the quicker you can go to sleep. It’s as simple as that.


OK, so now we’re convinced about the benefits of reading, but how do we carve time out of our day to do it? Here are a couple of simple suggestions:


Buy the books


Rather than make a list of the books you want to read, actually buy the books instead. It’s a lot easier to find the time to do something when it’s physically there. Not just the one book either – buy a few – charity shops are full of them. If you're target driven, you can turn it into a reading challenge.

Before bed


As we’ve already mentioned, reading is a positive addition to any bedtime routine. So make yourself a promise to turn off the tv and devices twenty minutes before you retire to bed and pick up a book to read instead.

Digital reading during downtime


There are plenty of apps available that allow you to read through your digital devices. This makes it much easier to cram in a few chapters during your lunchbreak, when you’re in a queue or when you’re on the journey to/from work. However they are not so good for bedtime reading as the light they emit actually impacts on the quality of sleep you subsequently get, so remember to keep the devices for daytime reading only.

Schedule it in


If there's a particular time of the day when you get stressed or experience an energy slump, put some time in your diary then to have a read – you should feel the benefits in as little as 10-15 minutes. And once you have started to make reading part of your daily / weekly routine you soon won’t have to schedule it in at all, it will become second nature.

Read what you enjoy


This one sounds like common sense – and it is – but often we set aside the titles we really want to read, in favour of what we think we should be reading. Harry Potter, Stephen King, Jackie Collins – it really doesn’t matter what genre you’re into, the benefits will be the same and you’re more likely to make time for something that you really want to do.

For more reading inspiration and ideas on how to get started on your reading journey, why not have a look at www.goodreads.com .

Wednesday, 23 August 2017

Making friends in a digital world

Meeting up is important for keeping friends
The school holidays have come to an end and many kids will have gone back to a class of new faces. Making friends is not always easy and in adulthood it can be trickier still. A recent study in the Metro found that adults have fewer friends today than in the 1980s. Social media could be a major player in this, as even those people who claim they have lots of friends say they do not feel they’re close enough with any of them to discuss important things in their lives.

We’ve developed some top tips for helping you build adult friendships that will last. Forget your Facebook friends – we’re talking about people who’ll be there for you when you need them and offer support and companionship beyond your digital devices.

Find people who like the same things you do

Most friendships are borne out of a common interest, belief or pastime. It helps to spark conversations and from there you can decide if you like each other enough for a true friendship to form. If you really want to make new friends, start by being in a place where likeminded people will congregate – join a club, pick up a new hobby or sign up to night classes.

You get out what you put in

In the early stages of a new friendship you have to make the time to nurture your new relationship. Once you've found someone you think has friend potential, set yourself the challenge to develop the connection. People can be shy, so if you get rebuffed the first time, make yourself a promise to try again. People will appreciate your early efforts. Of course, if after the second or third attempt there is still no connection made, accept that this friendship might not be going anywhere and turn your attentions elsewhere.

Digital friends can develop into more

Yes, this goes against what we’ve already said about Facebook and Twitter being two of the main reasons we have fewer ‘real’ friends these days, but when it comes to face-to-face friendships, social sites are excellent places to connect with likeminded people. Groups are cropping up all the time, filled with people who are also looking for new friends– just make sure you convert these virtual acquaintances into face-to-face meetings as this has been shown to be an important factor for retaining friends! If you do decide to meet up with an online friend, remember to tell someone where you're going and when you'll be back and always meet in a public place during the daytime until you get to know them better.

Revive faded friendships

There are many reasons why old friendships come to an end – we may move jobs, relocate or see our family situation change. However, if you find yourself in a friend famine, consider contacting some of your old friends to see if there is anything to rekindle there.


If you’re still unsure about how to create new friendships now you’re an adult, take a look at a technique called The Golden Rule of Friendship. This works on the theory that people will like you if you make them feel good about themselves. This Psychology Today blog explains all about it. It boasts a 100% success rate, so what have you got to lose? Those new friendships are closer than you think!